Nicole Parlapiano of Tubi
What should we expect from you?
"FEARLESS CREATIVE LEADERSHIP" PODCAST - TRANSCRIPT
Episode 277: Nicole Parlapiano
Here's a question. What should we expect from you?
Hello, I'm Charles Day. Welcome to Fearless Creative Leadership, now in audio and video. Here we explore how people in all walks of life, from business leaders to artists to athletes, unlock creativity and innovation in themselves and in the people around them. And in the process, how they move the world forward.
Welcome to the intersection of strategy and humanity.
This episode's guest is Nicole Parlapiano. She's the Chief Marketing Officer at Tubi. When she arrived two and a half years ago, Tubi was an eight year old business that had no brand recognition. Today, with the help of their ad agency, Mischief, the streaming service has 97 million active monthly users, up from 20 million in 2019.
Leading a challenger brand works best when you're willing to move fast and break things. And if you want the people that work for you to act with the same confidence, then they have to know who you are.
“ These are the things I'm passionate about. These are the things that I expect of you. These are the things I don't give a sh*t about. Do not slack me if you have a doctor's appointment. I do not care. I'm assuming you're getting it done. If you don't hear from me on slack or email, you gotta text me. If you're confused by something that I say, pick up the freaking phone. I'm much better on the phone.
But I think we all don't know, and there's so many multiple communication channels that we now operate in. I think it's important for every leader and every team to know how certain people are better at interacting.”
Reaching a senior leadership position takes a wide range of skills and talent. It requires managing down and up, reacting and adapting. And in the process, we learn a lot about ourselves and when we're at our best. That's information that will be helpful to others.
And yet, for many reasons, I think, most leaders don't share it.
So, take a moment, and write down three things that you expect of the people that work for you. Then write down three things that they can expect from you.
Tomorrow morning, share them.
You'll be surprised, I think, at the confidence it gives them, and you.
Here's Nicole Parlapiano.
Nicole, welcome to Fearless. Thank you so much for joining me on the show.
[00:01:52] Nicole Parlapiano: Thank you for having me, Charles.
[00:01:54] Charles: When did creativity first show up in your life? When were you first conscious of creativity being a force in the world?
[00:01:59] Nicole Parlapiano: I think as a child. When I think about it, I was always a very adventurous child and always had a wild imagination. And I leaned into it. Um, I was always acting out things and pretending. And I also think that part of creativity is kind of being a little bit fearless and a little bit rebellious. And I was just kind of born with that streak in my life of wanting to do things differently and wanting to push the boundaries and wanting to see a little bit as a kid of how much I could get away with. So some of that work has translated into my, my career, uh, very nicely.
[00:02:39] Charles: How did you express yourself growing up? What were your media?
[00:02:42] Nicole Parlapiano: I would watch a lot of my favorite movie as you can see behind me was the Wizard of Oz. I don't know if most young women, that was like their favorite thing. But for some reason Dorothy being on this wild journey with three casts of characters was something I was kind of always reenacting and and playing. I had these red ruby slippers that I wore every day, until my dad threw them out because they just got so disgusting and he was embarrassed seeing me walk around in them.
But I think that that movie played with my imagination a lot, and it played with things that were fear based and fanatical and sort of wild. And I wanted to be Dorothy, and I kind of always wanted little cohorts to go on these journeys with. So I would reenact those things with my neighborhood friends. And well, I guess I had a little bit of a bossy streak too, where I was kind of telling people what they should do and how they should do it. Um, usually my little brother was the one that had to play any role that I deemed he needed to play. I was an 80s kid so we were we were outside just kind of making our own mischief.
[00:03:52] Charles: You got a lot of education right? You have an MBA and an MS?
[00:03:57] Nicole Parlapiano: Yes.
[00:03:57] Charles: What made you decide you wanted to pursue that path from an academic standpoint?
[00:04:02] Nicole Parlapiano: So, I'm raised by a blue collar family, and my Dad was a builder, he's a contractor. And we lived in the suburbs of New York City. And, uh, every day, most of my friends parents went to, you know, took the train to New York City and went to work in their suits. And I loved art, I loved music, but there was a very big focus for my Dad on me being a person who suits up on the train.
And he always told me that he wanted me to be the person that hired people like him to build my house, not to be the person building the house. And there's, you know, no shame in that. But that was something that was ingrained in me young to just kind of be that white collared person that was in a boardroom making decisions versus working with my hands.
[00:04:52] Charles: Well, I'm just struck by what an incredible reference point for him to provide you. I mean you see so many parents who are almost competitive with their kids. But for your father to say to you, be, have this ambition and this is the role that I would play in that. I mean, that stands out to me as just filling, must have filled you with confidence and humility at the same time, I would imagine.
[00:05:13] Nicole Parlapiano: Confidence, humility, and just drive. I think there's also something about being an Italian American girl raised in New Jersey. We know many famous people in New Jersey. You grow up outside of this big city where it's the emblem globally of success. And you're staring at it and you're looking at it and you're thinking that is the place I need to go to be successful.
So I think it was him, but also just the close proximity to that success. You know, when I went to college, I knew that I wanted to be in business. I didn't know what facet of business. And I, I played around a little bit. I took all my general business classes. I took marketing, which I liked because I could play with both strategy and creativity. But I did dual major even with my MBA in both finance and marketing.
Because the pressure to earn and the pressure to achieve from my family and my family status was very present. And I think a lot of people live their lives trying to make their parents proud. That's really all I wanted.
So I didn't really pursue some things that I really loved. I loved making jewelry. But I knew that that wasn't going to be in the cards for me, because my dad would say, how you gonna make money doing that? You know? You know, at least having an undergrad, and Fordham was a Jesuit school, so you did get to, you know, play with, uh, studying the arts and languages and I took a theater class there. But also you got into the business classes and, and I, what I like about marketing is it brings that left and that right side of the brain together.
[00:06:52] Charles: I was actually going to ask you whether the, the habit you had that you described as a child of wanting to tell people what to do, did that carry with you? Is that where your desire to lead came from?
[00:07:02] Nicole Parlapiano: I think so. I think I was kind of born that way. I'm a natural leader. I have a vision of what I want to do, but I do like input from other people.
I think I've gotten much better at that as I get older. You kind of start to surround yourself with people that have that same ethos and can feed off of that creative energy. I might have an idea, but then there's other things along the way that people can inspire or create and you iterate on.
I think marketing especially it's it's a team sport. Everyone's got to be locked in and everyone's got to bring different things to the table. We're all operating with different functional backgrounds. And the best ideas are the ones that really, I think, thrive in contextual environments and take in all the inputs that are from the external environments and make them come to life.
So you could have a great idea and you can have an idea where that, that place could live. But how do you think about that idea having tentacles to kind of extend and evolve in the places you're going to place it? And I never was really playing alone. I was always playing with a group. But I think as I've gotten older, I've gotten better at, at listening and taking in and appreciating all the inputs that can come to the table.
[00:08:17] Charles: You've worked at a lot of different kinds of companies and some very distinctive kinds of cultures from VaynerMedia to WeWork to Tinder and obviously now at Tubi. What have you learned across all of those experiences about how you unlock creativity and the people around you,
[00:08:32] Nicole Parlapiano: I think there isn't a one size fits all. I think every corporate culture has a different kind of code of how they operate, what their business objectives are, what stage the company is in, who is making the decisions and how they're making the decisions and how to play to those different people.
So I think in any business context, you have to always start with what's the business problem and be very connected to the metrics that drive the business.
And then understand how creative can play a role in unlocking some of those business objectives. And beyond objectives, every business has their problems. And those problems change and evolve. And I think what creativity does is it allows you, you have to be so direct in confronting what the real problem is.
And the beauty is that I think a lot of times we are pressured to just keep doing what we think will work instead of like, what is the truth of the problem and how can we use creativity to unlock and confront that truth. And bring it to life. And eventually turn that problem into an opportunity
[00:09:44] Charles: That truth is often hard to get to isn't it because people are afraid of it in many cases I think. How do you create an environment in which people are willing to actually grab the third rail and deal with, this is actually the problem we need to be solving, not as opposed to the one we'd kind of like to solve instead
[00:09:59] Nicole Parlapiano: So I would say i'll start with We Work. And I said the cultural context is important, right? So You We work a fast growing startup owned by Adam Neumann. He is Israeli. Israelis have a different cultural context in which they operate in. So very direct communication.
Some people would think in meetings that they were combative. That worked well for me because I was fine to go into a meeting with someone that had an opposing view. And we would fight it out and then after that meeting I remember some people would say to me you and Arik just screamed at each other for 30 minutes. Because I'd be like no, this is the problem and he's like, but that's the problem. But this says that's the problem, and if you really think about it, that's what it is. And we would just go at it.
And then after the meeting people be like, are you are you guys okay? And I'm like, we're fine. We're totally fine. You are passionate. You kind of have it out. And that was culturally comfortable. But if you were not someone who was, you know, comfortable being that direct in meetings, then those executives would think you didn't care. If you weren't coming with passion and you weren't coming with an opposing view, then it seemed as if you didn't have conviction in what you were doing.
And then you go into, you know, a different culture environment with Tinder where, you know, we were confronting, a business problem that was, taking this app that had been beloved by Millennial daters and trying to understand how that app now meets a different generation of daters that are younger, that have different ways they want to interact, different views on relationships and romance.
And, we had to really be honest about some of the things that were holding us back from growing. And that environment had to come with numbers and a little bit more understanding. And a lot more evidence to kind of educate the executive team and bring the voice of the consumer into the room to kind of unlock where we had to move forward.
I don't think there's one way to do anything. And I think as executives, especially as marketers, you have to take a lot of stock in what is the corporate culture? How do things get solved? What are the communication norms? And adjust how you go about that so that everybody's on the same page and understands how we are going to move forward. And how creative and creative executions can move us forward.
[00:12:38] Charles: When you're in a meeting like that with Adam and you're literally yelling at the top of your voice, and he is too, a lot of people would collapse under the kind of emotional stress of that. But it's just it's not in their nature. Was that something that you were always comfortable with. Did you teach yourself to depersonalize that kind of dynamic. How were you able to show up like that in those situations?
[00:13:01] Nicole Parlapiano: That wasn't more natural for me because, as I was saying, I was raised as an Italian American in New Jersey.
[00:13:08] Charles: Cultural for you.
[00:13:09] Nicole Parlapiano: It's very culturally, I'm passionate, I'm direct. If you're in a meeting with me, unfortunately, I have no poker face. You're going to see it. So, um, it actually, it was a place where I felt like I could really be myself in those moments and I often was known for like, pounding my fists on the table, or doing those things, and like, that would excite them. Because they're like, wow, she really cares. If she's willing to really like, fight me on this, I'm going to let her do it.
So I think for me that was very natural. I think going into, say, something like a Tinder where it was not that type of environment, I had to really think about a different approach. Not pound my fist on the table, try to think about and really prep for those meetings on how to have a more structured conversation and not let my emotions get the best of me in those meetings. Because you never want to come across as like combative or aggressive and especially, you know, being a woman that has a style that is as direct as mine, is something that I have had to be conscious of, of how that can come across in a lot of executive environments.
[00:14:19] Charles: I mean, what you're describing is really the ability to read the room, right? And then be able to adapt accordingly.
[00:14:24] Nicole Parlapiano: Yeah.
[00:14:24] Charles: Do you think it's successful leadership possible if you can't read the room? I mean, do you have to be able to bring a diversity of approaches to different situations these days.
[00:14:32] Nicole Parlapiano: I think you do. I think that that, especially in the environment we're in, where things are changing so rapidly. And I think you have to honor and respect the organizations you're in. and what they're comfortable with. I don't mean you completely mute yourself down. There's still a good amount of Nicole that comes out in those moments.
It's just maybe softened. And I've, I've tried to say that I like to employ, what do they call it, the velvet, velvet hammer. Where you're still giving the hammer, but you're sort of softening it over a little bit so that it's not offending anyone or freaking anyone out if that's not naturally where um, you know, kind of the organization lays.
[00:15:13] Charles: Are you in a hurry? Am I in a hurry? Yeah, personally.
[00:15:17] Nicole Parlapiano: I'm kind of always in a hurry, I feel like. I'm practicing patience, but, you know, especially when you're in businesses and things are moving so fast, you have to balance, what is urgent and needs to happen now. And what can happen over time and what you're building over time.
You know, Tubi is a perfect example. It's been a journey that I started on two and a half years ago and it was a different challenge for me. I've never worked for a challenger brand. My prior two experiences were working for companies that defined a category. That people would literally in pitch decks be like, we're the We Work of, or the Tinder of. So I think that you are coming into organizations that had really strong brands and perspectives and a legacy of how they've been successful and how they've grown.
Tubi was a unique situation in the sense that it was a business that had been, around for nearly a decade. That was a great product. Great experience. And we had a lot of viewers that really loved the product, but we just didn't really have any consumer awareness. And we didn't really have a brand to articulate what the product was to deliver on.
And so that journey of building a brand really from the start up, it takes time and it takes repetition and it takes patience. So you have to be patient that you're not going to land the whole thing all of the time. There are beats and moments and activations and motions that we're going to take, that are going to build over time. And then we do have big moments, things like a Super Bowl. Where you're, you have to really hone in on like, what is the purpose of that moment? And you know, how does the brand show up in that moment?
[00:17:03] Charles: I'm struck by the discipline of that, everything you've just described in contrast with your natural personality, which is to let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Because I mean, to your point, Tubi is very much a brand that shows up and then goes quiet for you and then comes back. And so I imagine that the tension, if that's the right word, between doing the right thing for the brand, which clearly you've figured out based on the results you're getting, and your own natural inclination to want to say, want to see things happening quickly, that must have been an interesting kind of challenge and evolution for you personally, I would imagine.
[00:17:35] Nicole Parlapiano: Yeah, it might seem like we're going quiet. We're never really quiet because we're just doing things in other channels and to specific groups. So there is always something going on. And there always is a challenge. It's just that certain moments have a lot more visibility on them.
But you can't lose sight of your day to day business and the way that your brand behaves on a daily basis. And especially with social being really the largest consumer communication platform that marketers have had to play with ever that you do have that opportunity every day. And you are thinking about that every day. And it's a lot of the little things add up over time.
So, I mean, yes, we've done a big Super Bowl ad. And yes, we're doing another one. And we've had, you know, big moments where we're launching a title or big moments where we're launching a new product, but I don't feel like I'm impatient in those moments. I'm just thinking about how all these steps lead up to that moment.
It's like beats and bops, you know, beats and booms. There's a constant beat and a constant rhythm and then you have a boom and I think you're just trying to, to make sure that. All of that is leading towards growth to the business, which it has. And thinking about, you know, where culture is going, what's the sentiment of how people are thinking and feeling. And, like, how do we play a role, where do we play a role, and how do we input these things into those moments that are ultimately the boom moments.
[00:19:06] Charles: The work you're doing is brave. The strategy, I think, is brave. You have a personality that fits, as I get to know you here, that fits the work, actually, and fits the strategy as well. How much were you looking for the right casting when you took this job, between you and the culture of the organization. How important was that to you?
[00:19:26] Nicole Parlapiano: When I took this job, I'll be honest, I got a call about this job and this was in 2022 when streaming was in its kind of force of reckoning, right? We had Netflix had its first earnings, issue. And there was a lot of widespread layoffs.
I live in L. A. And when the recruiter called me, my first response was I don't think I'm the right fit for this role. I have no entertainment experience and it feels like there's so many good people in market. Why are you calling me? And I also was honestly trepidatious about entering into the streaming wars to work for a streamer that I hadn't heard of, really, or didn't know much about, but all they asked me is just meet with the founder.
And I met with the founder and I really liked him. And I could tell that he had a different perspective on the industry and on the role that Tubi could play. And I could tell that he was a man that liked to take some risks. And wanted to do th things differently. And he told me I didn't want anyone that has done this before because there's a formulaic approach there, especially, um, in the entertainment space where it wasn't exactly a fit for Tubi.
Yes, we do original content. But it's not like we have legacy IP or our whole strategy was going to be around big blockbuster original shows. So you had to look at the business a bit differently. And it appealed to me.
And it also appealed to me what he said was like, you know, entertainment can be a very personal experience. People all like to watch different things and what to be is great at. is really personalizing the entertainment experience for someone. People love Tubi. They love the experience. It's giving them something they can't find anywhere else. So that gave me the confidence to say, there's something here. And for me, as a marketer, let's try to build something.
I've never built a brand before. I've never worked for a brand that is a challenger brand. And that involves an entirely different kind of skill set and it's a challenge that I felt like for me in my career was really important to test if I could, if I could, you know, rise to that occasion.
[00:21:48] Charles: What have you learned about yourself in meeting that moment, in meeting that opportunity?
[00:21:53] Nicole Parlapiano: That, it is, I think, it speaks a lot to me. I'm not someone who operates on a lot of fear. When you're a challenger brand, you have to strip that fear from the equation. And you have to almost put blinders on yourself with what everyone else is doing. And really focus on your product, your business, your viewers.
And being honest and leaning into that. And mining the gold that is already there. And the flip side of working for a big brand is a lot of people know you, and unfortunately the more known you become, sometimes, you know, that comes with a lot of negative discourse. There can be people that have used your product and don't like it and then you're trying to overcome these things or you're trying to take a big brand, like a Tinder for instance and saying oh no now we're here for Gen Z. And, you know, we understand your dating world when they were known to be a millennial hookup app.
So you're trying to turn a big ship versus build something organically from the ground up. And I'm a builder. I'm an entrepreneur. That's it kind of in my DNA, even though, like I said, my, my parents were blue collar. They own their own businesses. So I think it really allowed me to lean into those things.
[00:23:07] Charles: As I said, the work you're doing is really brave. And you're working with what many people would argue is the most creative ad agency in the world at the moment in Mischief. How do you create an environment that lets them do their best work? What have you found is important in, in terms of giving a company like that? The freedom, the room, the confidence, the support to be able to produce the kind of work that you're looking for.
[00:23:28] Nicole Parlapiano: I was an agency side person for many years, and what I learned through Vayner or Miriam or even I was at a small performance marketing agency called Two Nil is that agencies are only as good as their clients.
And when the clients bring you in and they are honest and you really bring them into your business, the work is better because we're operating with complete transparency with each other. And, you know, I think with Mischief, I had worked with them briefly on Tinder and I, I knew that they looked at the creative problems in a different way.
I also, I think what a lot of people might not know about Mischief is their strategy department is excellent and best in class. And I think when we think about briefing, right? And I think everything to me, I'm obsessed with the briefs. I'm obsessed with the briefing process probably more than anything. Because it's about creating a clear brief that is simple. That is not trying to solve all the problems at once. Um, I think, I don't know if you've ever gotten a brief that's like four pages long, you're trying to achieve all these things. And, um, I remember being on the agency side and we would get those types of briefs and it's like, I can't do X, Y, and Z in a singular execution on a budget like this with this, like, this doesn't even make sense. Like, how can we focus?
So, with Mischief, we are really tight in the briefing phase on like the briefs we deliver to them, letting them in on the consumer insights, what's driving it, what the business problem is. And then they go back and their articulation and their strategic feedback to us, um, is is we kind of then align on their strategic brief that they are going to give to creatives. And the way they take what is a simple client brief and then the way their strat team sort of pivots that into these really interesting problems and tension points. And then the role the brand plays in that moment is where we focus a lot on. Because at that point, that is the diagram that we're all operating off of.
And then you have to understand that their brief is going to look different than our brief. Their brief is for creatives and it's to get creatives excited to make the work. So it has to be more fun. It has to be more visual. It has to bring those tensions more demonstrably to life. And there might be some things in there that clients are afraid to say about themselves. But I'm not afraid of that. I just want to operate in complete honesty. And I think with both of us. I I don't operate from a place of fear when we're going through this work. I strip the fear from the equation because great ideas or something if they don't fucking scare you then they're not that great. If it doesn't make you uncomfortable, then we don't really have something that's going to birth great creative work.
[00:26:31] Charles: You talk about bringing honesty to the table. Are there ever times where you feel compromised in doing that or ever times where that becomes an issue and you have to pull back?
[00:26:40] Nicole Parlapiano: I like the tension that Mischief brings to the table. So sometimes we will not agree on something and we'll argue about it.
And sometimes they'll see my point of view. And sometimes I'll see their point of view. But what I don't want to do is hand a brief and just get the work and not, you know, if we didn't give a good enough brief, I want to be checked on that. I want them to come back to me and tell me why. And instead of just taking a brief and going off and doing the work and then you're finding that the work is kind of not really hitting, that's usually because we didn't have those tension points and we didn't talk through them and we might not agree.
So there is a risk and there's a risk in doing certain types of work. And I think I have to as the client be comfortable with that element of risk.
[00:27:30] Charles: The foundation of everything you're describing is trust. Trust with the agency, trust with the people that work for you and your own team. How do you, from a leadership standpoint, create that trust? How do you establish trust for everybody around you?
[00:27:42] Nicole Parlapiano: I'm transparent and I'm direct. And they know that. I'm always honest in that moment. If you hear it come out of my mouth, it is real. There is nothing else behind it. I'm not hiding anything. I've been on the other side of it where we get creative feedback, and I'm like, Is that really what they think? Is that what their boss thinks? And I'll try to explain sometimes because I think sometimes agencies don't understand the internal inner workings of how things get over the line. Because. The buck doesn't always stop at me. I have to go and justify it, what I want to do in investments above me. So, sometimes I'll say to them, well, this is the way you're gonna approach it. But this is the way I'm going to talk about it when I have to go to executives and get signed off to do something completely, completely out of pocket, scary and wacky on a Super Bowl night.
This is how I'm going to approach it, and this is internally how it has to go down on my end. So that they understand that the conversation just doesn't end with me and them. They have to have empathy for me and what I have to do internally to get work over the line. And then protect that work with my life to make sure that it doesn't get watered down. Because that happens a lot.
A lot of CMOs have great ideas and things that they truly believe in. And where it can fall apart is you take it to your CEO, you take it to your board. These are not marketers. Agencies and marketers understand each other. But when you are in an organization where you're dealing with, um, you know, CFOs, CROs, everyone else, you have to strip your marketing language out from that. Keep your business lens on. And like I said, connect this idea to the business results and the impact it's going to drive. And give context again on, and I've done this before, where I'm trying to pick an idea that I know that will get approved. That an executive will like. And ultimately, my job is to create things for consumer groups, stakeholders, advertisers, whoever your external stakeholder groups are.
So as much context as you can give into the room to executives that are not those individuals, that we are marketing to. So that it makes sense. That they might not understand the work, but this is what younger people or this is what this group cares about. So this is why we're going about it, helps. So that they're not reviewing the work in a lens that is, well, I just don't like this or I don't personally get it.
So trying to remove that personal bias. But that's most of like what I think about internally is creating that context, creating that empathy for our viewers. That empathy for our advertisers. So that when we actually get to the work, the work makes sense and it's not just going to be viewed as does so and so like this,
[00:30:42] Charles: You're very clear about who you are and how you show up from a leadership standpoint.
Is that something that you communicate overtly to people when they arrive in the organization? This is what you can expect from me. Or is it something that you assume people are going to pick up as they get to know you?
[00:30:56] Nicole Parlapiano: No, my team can say this when I come in and, um, at least for the team underneath me, I kind of give a little user manual on Nicole.
[00:31:07] Charles: It's amazing how effective that is, isn't it? I don't think enough leaders do it. But it's a remarkably effective leadership practice.
[00:31:13] Nicole Parlapiano: For the marketing team, I come in and say, these are the things I believe as a marketer. These are the things I'm passionate about. These are the things that I expect of you. These are the things I don't give a shit about. Do not slack me if you have a doctor's appointment. I do not care. I'm assuming you're getting it done. If you don't hear from me on slack or email, you gotta text me. If you're confused by something that I say, pick up the freaking phone. I'm much better on the phone.
But I think we all don't know, and there's so many multiple communication channels that we now operate in. I think it's important for every leader and every team to know how certain people are better at interacting.
Because I'm direct and because I can be a little bit short, sometimes people think, Oh my God, she's mad or, oh, she doesn't like this. It's just that I'm not going to give any color commentary around it.
But if you call me, if it's something that needs a phone call, you'll get a lot more context and a lot more, I guess, emotion than just. My husband says the same thing to me too, that I feel transactional sometimes. But I just need to be, or like I tell the team, like, are you coming to me? Give me the context. Are you coming to me to vent? Then I'll listen. But if you're coming to me to just talk about something, I'm automatically thinking about how to solve that problem. That's where my brain goes.
But some people don't, don't want to have a conversation where you're immediately trying to solve the problem. They just want to be heard. But I do need them to tell me that this is that it's that type of conversation. Or I will just go into like, like you said, inpatient mode, this is the problem. How are we going to solve it? What are the paths forward? Did you do X, Y, and Z? So, um,
[00:32:48] Charles: It's right because you're in a hurry. So let's, let's get on with it. I totally understand that.
If you could go back 20 years and tell yourself at that age, what you've learned now, what would you tell them?
[00:33:02] Nicole Parlapiano: I would say keep working hard because it's going to pay off. I've always been a hard worker. I think, 20 years ago, and this is just with me and my own kind of insecurities from childhood of, you know, I was a little bit dyslexic. I was in resource room and I always kind of had this, maybe a little bit of a chip on my shoulder about not feeling like I was smart enough. But I could outwork anybody. So keep working hard.
But I guess I would have told myself that It will pay off eventually, and you don't have to overwork. There are other ways to kind of hold your ground and not overwork yourself, and to just be patient. They always say comparison is the thief of joy. And throughout your whole career, you're watching people that maybe you graduated with or worked with, and all of a sudden their career is going this way. And you're thinking, is that ever going to happen for me?
And I talk about this a lot, like careers are not linear. I have, I've changed careers. I didn't even start out as a marketer. I was in private equity. And I'm in the generation that was very impacted by 2008 and had a hard time getting a career back in footing. And then being in marketing, you know, I started in marketing later. E Harmony was my first job and I took an entry level role after losing my job in private equity during the economic downturn and really being in LA trying to finish my MBA at night. There was no jobs in to be heard of. There were certainly no jobs in finance in LA. And I took an entry level job at eHarmony on the, um, performance marketing team. And that's how I started my career. And I started over. And I started from the bottom and worked my way back up.
I also started in the agency world later. And I applied for every agency. Nobody would take me. My old boss at eHarmony started an agency. And then I got my agency chops and learned client management and kind of more around how to put together holistic strategies. And. a lot more in depth about how media and creative can work together. So I think just starting over a lot and, you know, being humble and saying, yeah, I'm going to take a job with a lower title. But it's because it's going to be in service of something better.
I mentor a lot of people now. And the fact that people get hung up on over like, well, I'm a. VP at this agency. I don't want to take a director role on the client side. Well, you have to, if you want to move up. Sometimes you have to move back to move forward. And you can't be uncomfortable with those things.
And you have to just constantly be challenging yourself on what skills are you building and how are you setting yourself up for success and not being a one trick pony. Because marketing has evolved and changed so much and it's going to continue to. It's changing every day and every moment. So you can't be afraid of those changes. And sometimes it involves taking U turns and taking a step back.
So I wouldn't be so hard on myself because I think I was hard on myself in those moments and I was thinking that I didn't have this path that some of my cohorts had where they spent four years at this company being a brand manager and then they did this and then they did that and they like made another natural trajectory.
Mine has been a series of U turns, step backs. Things that I, you know, I worked at a bunch of startups. Um, there was even moments in LA where I was unemployed and I was freelancing. I even one point sold Christmas trees in LA during the holiday season just to kind of keep things afloat financially. And I'm not afraid or embarrassed of those things.
But I think in general and media, what we all see in the industry is just the people that are winning. We see entrepreneurs that have these windfalls of, you know, investment in these great products and then get rich. And we don't often see people that have had to make a lot of different turns to kind of get there along the way. And our careers are very long. They're very long, I think.
And we celebrate youth, right? So, oh, this young founder, you know. At 24 did this and wow, that's not everybody's story and your story can restart at any point. So I would be kinder on myself because I think I was really hard and down on my career for a long time and I didn't really, for a while, think that I was ever going to get to this point.
[00:37:30] Charles: I think that's such powerful and potent advice. Last question for you as you look at the future, what are you afraid of?
[00:37:37] Nicole Parlapiano: That's a good one. I have a really high bar for the work You And I'm, I'm still hard on myself about that. And I get afraid that can we keep that bar? But the nature of the job is you learn more from the things that are hard, that don't work, than the things that work.
So I think making sure as brands that we are showing up in the right way for people. When everyone's so fragmented in how they feel thinking about everything right now, we're not on the same page. So I think that is something I fear is that finding those unifying moments and those things gets harder and harder to execute at scale.
[00:38:21] Charles: I really want to thank you for joining me today. I'm really struck by the clarity you have about how you show up best from a leadership standpoint and how people get the best out of you.
And I think that's a lesson that a lot of leaders could learn from because I think that there is too much vagueness and sort of hope that somebody else will figure it out. So I really appreciate the clarity that you bring to the table and, and congratulations on the brand's evolution and on the work in the Super Bowl.
So I wish you nothing but the best.
[00:38:48] Nicole Parlapiano: Thank you so much for having me.
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